I had about 40 minutes to convey "An Adult's Perspective" to an audience comprised mostly of parents, educators and hearing professionals. I decided the three most important things to discuss from my 18 years of hearing loss were the Physical, Mental and Emotional effects that living with hearing loss has had on me, and then to contrast how those 3 effects are different in my life now with Cochlear Implants. I swallowed my anxiety and fears of entering into something I had absolutely NO experience with, and here's what came out:
Physically, obviously I couldn't hear well, but there were many limitations in conversation and listening environments I had to always be aware of. Two years before I got my first CI, I went completely deaf in my Right ear, so I was constantly working on positioning my Left ear as well as I could. Any time I walked into a restaurant I had to quickly survey the available seats and think about where I would actually be able to hear best. It was tiresome.
Mentally, I grew up through high school and college feeling "less than" others and that I would always be limited by having special needs and a hearing experience that seemed to get worse and worse every year. I also had to do so much "guess work" while listening and piecing together sentences and concepts from the few words I could make out, that I ended up completely drained and exhausted at the end of the day while feeling like I hadn't really connected with anyone.
Emotionally, I felt like my life was a clock ticking to zero, and I would eventually lose all ability to hear further limiting my ability to succeed in life. I had many experiences near the end of my hearing aid life where I felt as if I were in a glass case watching my life go by as a movie, without the ability to interact with it. The holidays were especially difficult with my lack of communication ability.
BUT....
Within a six month time span, I went from this dark, dreary picture I've created here to a life in which I feel UNLIMITED in my physical ability. A life in which I see myself on an equal plane with those around me. A life in which I can communicate in many situations effortlessly, feeling connected to those I'm talking to on a deeper level than I've ever experienced.
All this, because of two miracle devices sitting beneath my scalp and deep inside my inner ears.
I can't stress enough how cochlear implants have affected and altered my life for the better. Not only do I have countless opportunities and ability now that I didn't before, but I've also finally come to accept myself for who I am, just the way that I am, and I no longer believe I am different than anyone else. This has truly been a life altering experience.
The best part is, the journey has only started.
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| Life's heating up |
